i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
