I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
