Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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