Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
