just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
