Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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