Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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