No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
