I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
