remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
