as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.