shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.