Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.