i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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