She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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