addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
