ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize