My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Two words: nipple clamps
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