I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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