Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
