If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
