is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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