At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
