last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
