Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
