Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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