u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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