this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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