come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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