I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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