even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
