we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize