Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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