what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
