You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
even my farts smell like vagina
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
