So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
