fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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