whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
