I CAN MOONWALK!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.