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You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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