I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.