i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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