Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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