Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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