So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
