Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
