Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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