So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize