He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
