I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
