You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
