Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
