I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Your cock deserves a montage
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
