my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
