we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
