if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
