OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
