i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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