this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
