Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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