Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
