I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
