come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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