you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
