Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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