I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i came on her dog
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
