Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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