i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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