Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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